I couldn’t let myself believe that everything had happened so quickly. Twenty-three years, going nowhere fast. And then I even lost twenty four. Lost to happenstance, non remembrance. Attempting to make it to twenty five. Worthless indecision led to a bike ride. Which led to a ledge. Which was metaphorical. And then life became all about making choices and changing. Dry and crackling noises from a dark corner. Creak, and then move forward, but the Creak remains. Sound is impenetrable. So, power through, Godspeed. This this is all a b o u t choices.
This is a season of becoming. Live with intention. Confusion, what is it inside that feels so strange and informal? Alienation from myself. All is well in the heart, all on the surface feels porcelain. Maybe stained a slight, sad purple. Why complain? More than most. But not enough. Start learning how to live now, or it will never be enough.